Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Finding Home

I've been doing better lately. I really feel that it has alot to do with the fact that I've been going to church for the past month. I still think about it all the time but I'm not obsessing over it as I was before. I could spend all day every day looking up information on forums and researching and just driving myself crazy mad over all things infertility but I've found something else to throw that energy towards. I really enjoy going to church. I don't even know how to explain it, I just feel GREAT when I'm there. Every single time I go, at some point throughout the service I get goose bumps and I know that's where I belong. I'm trying with everything that I have to just turn it over to God and leave it to him. I can't make anything happen, all I can do is make myself an emotional mess stressing over it and making myself depressed. So while yes everything is a constant reminder and I do think about it at some point every day, I'm trying not to focus on it. I don't want to be an angry sad person for the rest of my life. I want to enjoy what I've been given. I have a great life. It may not be going as I had planned but I just need to trust that eventually it'll get there.

1 comment:

Diana Y. said...

I love this post. :) You're doing so good...and I'm proud of you! It's definitely difficult to turn things over to God and just let Him work his ways...I struggle with that too...daily. But we can both do it. He has everything under control!

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