You were a girl again this time. You weren't born yet though. I was laying there and you kicked me. It was one of those kicks at the end of the pregnancy where I could see your foot sticking out. I started rubbing in that same spot to get you to do it again. Then I woke up. I started rubbing my belly again when I realized I probably wasn't far enough along yet to feel you kicking, then I woke up from that dream rubbing my belly with the realization that you aren't in there. My mind was awake but my body was frozen. I couldn't get up. A dream within a dream.
I wish dreaming of you could leave me with happiness. I wish I could wake up and just smile to myself thinking of you. It never ends that way. I always wake in sadness and grief.