On Mother's Day 2011(well technically it was the day before) I was singing praise and worship at church when I felt God put his arms around me and I felt an embrace I've never had before. I was hurting and at that moment I knew God was telling me to let it all go. To trust Him and let Him carry my pain for me. Its an experience that I hope everyone gets a chance to have. Its indescribable.
For so long all my focus was on my infertility struggles. Its all I could think about. It took control of my life. That night at church, I knew everything was going to be okay. Of course I'm still sad about things but I don't keep it as my focus. There are some days that pass where its not even a blip on my radar.
Gods love is all I need. He has me wrapped so tight in his arms, I know he's never letting go.
It may sound strange but I know God has another child for me. I've dreamed of him. I've held him in my arms. He has the perfect child for me just waiting until its time. There are lessons left for me to learn and I know that. I feel at peace with it now. I know its only a matter of time before I'm ready. I trust God and I know that in His time all the desires of my heart will be fulfilled.