365 days

Its been three hundred and sixty five days since you took your last breath.
That's 31,536,000 seconds.  Its been 525,600 minutes since you left.
Eight thousand seven hundred and sixty long hours.
52 weeks.

Its been one year since you left us, and not a single day goes by that you are not thought of. You will forever live on in my heart and my memories. I look forward to the day that I get to see you again and hug you in Heaven. My beautiful sweet foxy, you are missed. You are loved.

With you

I haven't slept much since you left. I haven't been awake much either. I'm not sure if I'm here or there. I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm at. I feel scared and alone. This whirlwind of emotions is just too much for my brain to handle. I feel like I'm on a roller-coaster and I can't get off and I can't get the lap bar to lock into place either. I am barely holding on and at any minute I'm going to go flying off losing myself for ever if I haven't already. 
I keep replaying the past in my mind. Going over memory after memory pausing to remember the facial expressions only you could make. Hearing the sound of your voice in my head. Your scent as I kissed your forehead for the last time. Your laugh. Your hair(& at times, the lack of). Your love and passion for the ones you held dear to your heart. Your strength and determine. I close my eyes and I remember you. I close my eyes and hope you will meet me in my dreams for one last hello. 

Never Stop Dancing

You went to dance in Heaven today. I want to say so many things but there are no words to explain how we are feeling without you. You were the strongest most amazing woman I have ever known. You were my friend, my sister, my sugar plum snuggle wuggles. You were our sweet sweet Foxy Lady. We love you so much. We will see you again beautiful cat-eyed girl.

Imposter

I'm a liar. I'm a fake, a fraud. I'm not anything like how I say I am or how I pretend to be. I am not a strong person. I was not built to be the rock. I crumble under the pressure. I fall apart when it comes time to care for me. I have nothing left for myself. I have a promise to keep and I will not fail, but in the end I may not be here anymore. The me that makes me, me, may just possibly be too far gone by then. God please give me the strength and courage, please give me the right words to say and the comfort of your embrace through my touch. Amen.