Recovering

I should be writing about how I'm recovering from my first couple of weeks at work instead I'm referring to the horrible stomach virus that I've been fighting for a week now. I'm hoping I have seen the last of it but I won't know for sure until tomorrow. Prayers please. I ended up missing several days of work because of it, not a good thing when its only your second week. I went to the doctor so I had a note plus all the kiddos also had it so its obvious I wasn't faking it but still it was only my second week there. I really really like working at the daycare. I worried at first it may be a bit much for me with the whole infertility thing but its not. I LOVE it! The people are great, the kids are adorable(sometimes Ha!) and I just really enjoy having something to look forward to. Its not easy work by any means. You are on your feet the entire time and you are constantly doing something, its hard on my back but nothing that a little ibuprofen can't take care of. The kid gets to go with me so I don't have to pay for daycare and while I'm not working with him I can still check in on him and if he needs me I'm there. I have prayed about this a lot and have had many of conversations with God and I strongly feel that this is where I'm meant to be. I can see myself here long term. I see the future and where I want to be in my life and I see this place being a part of that. It may sound silly to some but I really honestly feel that. I think a lot of things will be changing because of this new adventure I'm on. Its the first of many stepping stones to a happier me. Have you ever came across something where you could see where it fit into your life? Like you could see how it would change and shape the future? How by making this one choice all the other things would fall into place. I can see that. I can picture it and it looks amazing! I'm really excited about this and I hope everyone can be happy for me. I know things are changing and I'm going in a different direction as you now but its a good change for me and I hope you can see that and want that for me.

Unexpected Changes of 2012

Are we ever really ready for changes in our lives? There is no way I ever could of prepared myself for the changes that took place in my life last year. If I had to title the changes of last year I would name it 'Stolen Friendships'. Just about all of my closest friendships changed and all right about the same time too. One of my girls moved away, one drifted,  one passed away and one took a leave of absence. It was a difficult year for me. I felt alone and abandoned. I felt confused and sad. I had health problems. I had six months of not knowing if I was okay or not. I was sad a lot of the year. I never would of imagined that that was how my year would go. If I had the opportunity to go back in time and prepare myself for what was to come I'm not sure I would even know what to say except for to treasure the time you have with the ones you love so dear and to guard and protect your heart. We all go through things in life and we all handle them differently. In a time when I needed my friends the most, a time I thought we would all grow closer...the exact opposite occurred. I learned that sometimes you have to be your own best friend. I'm glad 2012 is over with, it was too much for me to handle. I'm ready for this new year and all the great things that will come with it.

*This post was written as part of Bloggy Moms: The Blog Dare. Todays writing prompt was - Changes I didn't expect for 2012. If you'd like to participate feel free to link up with your own post at the link posted above.*

COTM - Stuck In A Rut -Parts 4 & 5-

Here is the last two parts of the Stuck In A Rut series from church. This series was absolutely amazing. I've been noticing changes(for the better) in my marriage lately and even though my husband does not join me in going to church, I feel the changes have been sparked by what I have learned from this series. Changes on both of our parts. I'm a work in progress but I know that great changes are happening in me which means great things are happening in my world.


Stuck In A Rut - Part 4 from Church on the Move on Vimeo.

Stuck In A Rut - Part 5 from Church on the Move on Vimeo.

A Bad Nut?

Has someone ever made you question the characteristics that make you who you are? Things that you thought were positive great qualities and then with their insensitive harsh words they make you question every single thing you do from that point on. That has happened to me this year. It's stopped me and made me pull away from the great changes I feel I was making. It has stopped me from doing what I love to do, what makes me be me. It's amazing to me how people can sit behind a screen and type the most awful things to someone, not just someone but a loved one. Someone who is suppose to always have your back and be one of your top cheerleaders and instead they say hurtful words that they would never say in person. Words that change how a person thinks and feels, knocking them down instead of building them up.
One of my wishes for the new year is for people to think before they talk/type. Know that the words you use can greatly affect the ones you are saying them to and it isn't always a good thing. You should love people for who they are and not who you WANT them to be.

Changes

Things are changing in my neck of the woods. I've been living in a bubble - my safe zone. I stop myself from doing things because I'm not certain of the outcome. My husband thinks I'm having a breakdown. I promise this isn't my midlife crisis but I am turning THIRTY in twenty days! There are things I have always wanted to do but never do them because of my fears of the unknown. I live a safe life. Why not do what will make me happy? You never know if you're going to like something unless you try it. I'm not just talking about big things but little things. Things most if not all of you have done before....like coloring your hair. Yeah yesterday I would of told you I had NEVER dyed my hair before but today I can officially say I DID IT! I have wanted bangs for forever but have been too afraid of what I'd look like. The day before last I had my hair cut and got bangs for the first time in fifteen years! I haven't always been like this. I used to be a little crazy and carefree... I don't know what happened but I do know that times are changing and I'm changing with them.

Live the life you've been given!