My Patchwork Heart

It's hard pretending to be okay all the time. It leaves it to when you aren't okay nobody really listens. Its in one ear out the other. Its hurtful. How am I suppose to say anything though? It took all that I had just to say I was hurting. If I say something about being sad people always tell me to turn to God and have faith that he will fulfill all of my hearts desires. God is my life. I talk to him all the time. I pray to him. I pour my heart out and tell him all of my wants and needs and I know that he will give me all of my hearts desires in his timing. I love my God. I have hope and faith. With that being said, am I not allowed to have moments of sadness? Trust me, I wish I didn't hurt from this. I wish this didn't consume my thoughts. I wish I could not think of my sadness when you talk about your happiness. I can't always keep my heart patched, sometimes the wounds show through. I just wish it didn't feel like it didn't matter.